• Barbara Clayton Price


Day 50

Happy Sunday! It's another beautiful day in Grand Rapids, Michigan. The weather report for the rest of the week, looks like it will be colder, without as much sun. I come out with the sun. My mood is good but I still feel somewhat tired.

I've spoken to others, who talk about being tired after doing very little. I know that fatigue can be caused by depression, but I don't feel depressed at all. In reality, I believe that many of us are tired, because life is so different, and being asked to remain in our homes, isn't the norm for most people. It is about 9:30 a.m., as I write, and I really could go back to bed. I'm depending on my coffee to clear my head and get me going.

What are you doing to fight fatigue and boredom? If you have good weather, just get outside. I checked out my perennial garden yesterday, and things are blooming and growing. I love to garden, and I'm looking forward, to seeing everything in full growth and blossoming. Out of the darkness comes light. Gardening is one of the lights in my life. I have a very tiny patio garden, but I fill it with flowers and plants. I understand, that the nurseries will be open very soon, and will have curbside pickup, I'm so excited. I'm creating my list today, but because we never know what the weather will be like here, in the month of May, I will wait a little longer to buy them.

My daughter is growing plants in the house, from live vegetables. She has green onions, celery and lettuce, growing on a windowsill. It's been so much fun watching them grow. She's been trimming the green onions, and keeping the trimmed pieces in the refrigerator, to be eaten later. If you are a city dweller, or can't work outside, you might think of growing vegetables, from the food you've already purchased. I am attempting to grow a cabbage, from the core of a head of cabbage I cooked. I just put it in a bowl of water, just like my daughter had done with her vegetables. It has lots of roots now, but I have no idea, if it will yield another cabbage. It's just fun to watching it grow.

I hope that our economy will grow, now that businesses are opening up. I also hope, that we will not have a rise in Covid-19 cases. Here in Michigan, it's been a cold, dark winter. Our days were so short, and we were deprived of sunshine. In the spring, we are like bears, who are coming out of hibernation. Except, we are hungry for the sun and the fun outdoors, instead of food. We awake from winter, starved for sunshine, and looking forward to summer parties and fun. However; this year, we may as well have stayed in hibernation, as our fun will be limited. I'm concerned that this spring, we will be limited, because we cannot be in close contact with each other. Crowded beaches will be like petri dishes, for the new coronavirus. Or, should I say, they already are?

People are flocking to beaches, etc., and are NOT practicing social distancing. I read today in the news, that a popular hot-dog stand here in Michigan has opened up. The picture of the event, showed a really long line of people, practicing absolutely no social distancing. This scares me so much, as it only takes one person carrying the virus, to spread it to dozens, who in turn, will expose it to dozens more. This reminds me of an old painting, of dancing bears. Everyone so happy, joining together, in the dance of spring. However, the dance here, could have a dark ending.

I absolutely know, that some people, ie., the folks lined up for a hot-dog, or who are filling the beaches, do not believe that the virus is real. I know, that they become angry with people like me, who must sound like a crazy prophet of doom. However, I know that I am in the majority, understanding that the virus is a very real killer. We are not staying in our homes for fun. Television celebrities are not broadcasting from home, because it is better than being at the studio. People are not working from home, because it is convenient, because believe me, it is not,. Teachers are not teaching via the internet, because it is so much easier, as it definitely is not. Parents are not accepting the role of home-school teachers, because it is fun and easy, because it is anything but. All these people are trying to save their lives, and the lives of others. These are very hard times for most of us, who are doing the best we can to stay alive, by remaining away from others.

I would love to be sharing the beach, with other sunbathers, but I cannot risk dying for a nice tan. I would love to have one of those special hot-dogs, that I too love, but I don't want it to be the last one I ever eat. This will be a spring, that will go down in history, and I doubt the picture painted, of this time in history, will be depicted by happy, dancing bears. Instead, most bears would be peeking out of their dens, cautiously making sure, that danger is not lurking outside. Hopefully, the picture will be of creative bears, who are being safe, and who are growing their own food. Bears being creative, and doing the best they can.

I can feel the frustration, of people wanting to return to normal. I know that there are people, who think the virus is a hoax, or a manipulative, government lie. We are all entitled to our opinions. However, if lives are being lost as a result, I hope that some will rethink their stance. It will probably take one of their loved ones dying, or even themselves, to convince them, of the realness of Covid-19. I pray that this is not the case.

I began writing this blog entry, about growing vegetables, and spring, but I end up in frustration, because of the virus. It is clear to see, that my lethargy may be caused, by the grey cloud, of possible death, always hanging over me. I am going to work outside today, in my little patio garden, and attempt to forget, about the frightening world, I live in right now. I can really only do one thing about this situation. I can take care of myself and make good choices. The sunshine will lift my spirits and increase my energy. The promise of spring is here, but we must carefully venture out, taking care, that this is not our last. There will be other springs, where we will be like the dancing bears, ready to begin our summer fun. We just have to be patient and safe until then.

Be safe and remember that this will not last forever.

My daughter's windowsill garden from live vegetables.

My posts, found on my blog, are not meant to replace or support my work as a Psychotherapist. I am neither counseling or attempting to do therapy of any kind. The posts are my personal opinions and thoughts, and are not a part of my practice in any way. My blog is a representation of my personal feelings during the pandemic, and do not enter into my treatment or actions as a psychotherapist.

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